Hi Pete, Thursday (4 March 2010)
Editorial comments on the 'wd-mfdfaxoutmodel10-20100301-rev.pdf' spec.
Cheers,
- Ira
----------------------------------------
Global
- usage
- change "FaxOut specific" to "FaxOut-specific" for clarity
- change "Service specific" to "Service-specific" for clarity
Global
- readability
- change "0 or more" to "zero or more"
Global
- usage
- change "as being included" to "by being included"
Section 1 - Introduction
- line 188
- replace "_" with " " between "connected" and "multifunction"
Section 2 - Summary
- line 202
- current pronoun "Those methods" is a weak reference in context
- elide and correct the two sentences to read
"number of ways, all of which are outside the scope..."
- line 203
- missing word - change "use MFD's" to "use an MFD's"
- line 207
- series plural - change "protects" to "protect"
Section 4 Rationale
- line 230
- change title from "Rationale" to "Requirements" (per PWG Process)
Section 5 MFD Model Overview
- line 262
- change "container object" to "container Group Element"
- line 267
- change "SystemConfiguration object" to
"SystemConfiguration Group Element"
Section 6 FaxOut Service Model Overview
- line 282
- change "specify" to "explicitly specify" for clarity
- line 286
- change "two sub Elements" (needs hyphen) to "two Group Elements"
- line 290
- case - change "group element" to "Group Element"
- line 299
- missing word - change "has extension" to "has an extension"
- line 303
- case - change "service status" to "ServiceStatus"
- line 309
- change "a minimum of two" to "two" for clarity
- line 312
- change "and Canceled" to "or Canceled" for clarity
- line 322
- change "specific" to "specific and OPTIONAL" for clarity.
Section 6.1 DefaultFaxOutJobTicket
- line 328
- change "are not copied" to "MUST NOT be copied" for clarity
Section 6.2 FaxOutServiceCapabilities
- line 341
- missing space - change "instance(e.g.," to "instance (e.g.,"
Section 6.3 FaxOutServiceCapabilitiesReady
- line 369
- typo - change "intervention. .(i.e.," to "intervention (e.g.,"
- line 372
- extra space - change "( In and" to "(In and"
Section 6.5 FaxOut Service Description
- line 392
- typo - change "modified indirectly" to "indirectly modified"
- line 415
- typo - change "are described" to "are also described"
Section 7 FaxOut Job Model
- Figure 7 Job Table
- schema/diagram error - JobHistory should be solid box (REQUIRED)
Section 7.2 FaxOutJobStatus
- line 459
- typo - change "are described" to "are also described"
Section 7.3.1 FaxOut Document Processing
- line 483
- typo - change "are described" to "are also described"
Section 7.3.3 FaxOut Job Processing
- line 512
- typo - change "are described" to "are also described"
Section 8 FaxOut Document Model
- line 519
- change "will be limited to single" to "NEED NOT support multiple"
Section 8.2 FaxOut Document Status
- line 546
- typo - change "are described" to "are also described"
Section 10 FaxOut Service Theory of Operation
- redundant
- most or all of this section should be replace with MFD Overall ref
Section 12 Conformance Requirements
- Table 6 Optional User Operations
- NOTE to Bill - here is "ValidateFaxOutDocumentTicket" operation
- line 655
- missing beginning of sentence
<<< ran out of time - more on next draft >>>
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