the new draft starts looking pretty good. However, here are a my editing comments on IPP version .93.
Hope we can get these fixes in before sending the text to IETF.
Carl-Uno
---I have concentrated on general readability, consistency and nitty-gritty typos rather than technical details. There seems to be enough of that from other members of the group already.
All references are in relation to line numbers from ipp93.doc.
Global inconsistency:
The operation names in Chapter 5 are typically concatenated, as in "GetAttributes", while in Chapter 6 the names are written with hyphens, such as "Get-Attributes". We need to synchronize this. It would seem to be easier to fix Chapter 5 as there are much fewer occurrences there, provided the HTTP syntax allows hyphens in names?
Chapter 2
Line 283 Change "Printer servers" to "Print servers" Line 290 Change first "." to ":" Line 296 Change first "." to ":"
Chapter 3
Line 401 Change "consists of" to "contain" (to make consistent with text in 3.4) Line 431 Change "a end-user" to "an end-user"
Chapter 4
Line 551 Change "fo" to "of" Line 564 Change "They" to "The" Line 577 Change "Is is" to "It is" Line 594 Change "2-sided-long- edge" to "2-sided-long-edge" Line 595 Change "2-sided-short- edge" to "2-sided-short-edge"
Chapter 5
(See global inconsistency problem above as well)
Line 762 Should "Print Job" have been "Print-Job"? Line 786 Should "Document Header" have been "Document-Header"? Line 895 Change "GetJobs" to GetJobs Request" Line 901 Change "Get Jobs" to "GetJobs"
Chapter 6
Line 949 Remove extra stop at end of line Line 1007 Remove extra stop at end of line Line 1154-56 Remove " After some program has merged the production attributes into the document data " Line 1242 Remove extra stop at end of line Line 1486 Remove the first occurrence of "the" Line 1492 Replace "end user" with "end-user" Line 1493 Replace "end user" with "end-user" Line 1524 Remove space before "," Line 1529 Remove space before "." Line 1558 Remove extra stop at end of line Line 1563 Remove extra stop at end of line Line 1763 Insert space before "IPP"
Chapter 8
Line 1822 Change "FRC" to "RFC"
Chapter 9
Line 1873 Insert the actual list of IPP attendees
Appendix A
Line 1879 Change "AJjob" to "A Job"
There is a common problem with double spaces between words in the text. Although this is not critical, it looks sloppy (and shows up much more clearly in ASCII printed text) and we should try to fix it if time allows. You can use Words Edit-Replace feature and search for two spaces and replace with one space, but selectively on a case by case basis, as there are many places where you actually want the two spaces. It took me about an hour to find them all. It should take about the same time to fix them with this method. You can reposition the cursor in the text between searches to skip over places with lots of space characters, like in the pictures.
Here are the line numbers with that problem:
36, 54, 139, 151, 157, 263, 264, 287, 311, 333 (three spaces), 491, 492, 526, 548, 568, 583, 586, 834, 876, 876, 908, 948, 051, 999, 1049, 1050, 1056, 1062 (also at end of line), 1087, 1088, 1092, 1145, 1158, 1160, 1182, 1230, 1254, 1262, 1265, 1267, 1279, 1281, 1335, 1342, 1365, 1373, 1381, 1399, 1507, 1517, 1525, 1527, 1534, 1620, 1621, 1635, 1689, 1751, 1753, 1754, 1788, 1810.
---Carl-Uno Manros 1601 N Sepulveda Blvd. #505 Manhattan Beach, CA 90266-5133 E-mail: carl@manros.com