Hi, Tuesday (29 November 2011)
High North has reviewed the System Object and System Control Service and
has comments.
These comments augment the Apple comments and try to avoid overlap.
Cheers,
- Ira
------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Comments on "wd-mfdsystemcontrolservicemodel10-20111102.pdf"]
Global - fix title of MFD Model [PWG5108.1]
- several different unrelated titles are used for [PWG5108.1],
for example on lines 260-261.
Global - case of "subunit" versus "Subunit"
- inconsistent capitalization of singular and plural "subunit"
throughout this document
- my preference would be titlecase throughout (per MFD Model)
Global - terminology - clarity
- change "Client" to "System Client"
(too ambiguous otherwise, with respective to Job service clients)
Line 14 - typo
- change "[PWG51008.1]" to "[PWG5108.1]"
Line 16 - typo
- change "by n MFD." to "by an MFD."
Line 17 - clarify
- change "The model extension"
to "The [PWG5108.1] model extension"
Line 22 - clarify
- change "Alert Table" to "prtAlertTable"
Line 22 - typo
- change "visible to any" to "visible via any"
Line 23 - clarify
- change "Imaging Device wide usage counters, all the conditions, and
every Subunits."
to "Imaging Device total usage counters, all conditions, and all
Subunits."
Line 25-26 - clarify
- change "to start services that have been shut down."
to "to start (create) services and to restart services that have been
previously shut down."
Line 181 - scope error
- change "System Object's capabilities, configuration,"
to "System Object's configuration,"
Line 182 - missing word
- change "to modify System Object's data."
to "to modify the System Object's data."
Line 188 - case error
- change "Network Connected System Client"
to "network-connected System Client"
Line 189 - typo
- change "services that protects"
to "services that protect"
Line 190 - clarify
- change "access of" to "access to the"
Line 198 - missing term
- define "System Client" (used in section 2, 4.1, 8.1, etc.)
(simply using "Client" is far too ambiguous in this spec)
Line 200 - clarify
- change "this Specification"
to "System Object and System Control Service"
Line 203 - clarify
- change "for the Imaging Device System."
to "the SystemControlService of the Imaging Device."
Line 208 - clarify
- change "this Specification"
to "System Object and System Control Service"
Line 211 - broken reference
- change "The MFD Working Group charter [CHAR] defines the following as
out-of-scope:"
to "The following are out-of-scope:"
(MFD charter is out-of-date and should NOT be referenced in a PWG CS)
(it's also missing in current Informative References section)
Line 217 - clarify
- change "top level objects"
to "top level elements"
(SystemStatus is NOT an object - it's an element group)
Line 217-220 - clarify
- rewrite these sentences to stop confusing object w/ element group
Line 236 - clarify
- change "System Model Overview"
to "Imaging Device Model"
(title disagrees with first sentence)
Line 240 - clarify
- change "SystemControlService Clients"
to "System Clients"
(the formal term for conformance)
Line 244 - clarify
- change "there is only a single instance."
to "there can only be a single instance."
Line 245 - clarify
- change "no jobs coming in or output produced and no subordinate"
to "no Jobs coming in or output produced and therefore no subordinate"
Line 246 - clarify
- change "entire system" to "entire Imaging Device"
Line 258 - clarify
- change "all the subunits that comprise"
to "all the subunits configured on"
(the subunits, by themselves, do NOT comprise the Imaging Device)
Line 267 - typo
- change "provide descriptive" to "provides descriptive"
Line 270 - typo
- change "has extension" to "has an extension"
Line 281-283 - clarify
- add complete table of rules for "optimistic" Service state rollup
(explain that non-Job services like Resource don't participate)
(overlaps w/ Apple comment - but this has to be interoperable)
Line 288 - typo
- change "2lists" to "2 lists"
Line 293 - ambiguous element name
- change "ServiceInstance" to "ServiceSummary"
(consistent with "ResourceSummary")
(the actual service instances are in the Services container)
(also line 416 now uses "ServiceSummary")
Line 296 - clarify
- change "SystemControlService Theory of Operation"
to "SystemControlService Model"
Line 297 - redundancy
- change "Imaging Device System" to "Imaging Device"
Line 298 - typo
- change "SystemControlService model" to "SystemControlService models"
Line 301 - clarify
- change "comprise" to "are configured on"
(the subunits, by themselves, do NOT comprise the Imaging Device)
Line 304 - typo
- change "has extension" to "has an extension"
Line 309 - model error in Figure 6
- change SystemControlServiceDescription to REQUIRED
(otherwise there is no language or charset for Status values)
Line 312 - typo
- change "provide Descriptive" to "provides descriptive"
Line 315 - typo
- change "has extension" to "has an extension"
Line 327 - typo
- change "provide state" to "provides state"
Line 338 - clarify
- change "SystemControlService Interfaces"
to "SystemControlService Operations"
Line 339 - clarify
- change "provides a set of service interfaces"
to "provides a service interface"
(one interface - multiple operations - in formal model terminology)
Line 376 - clarify
- change "can no longer be instantiated."
to "can no longer be restarted."
(delete removes the instance itself)
Line 382 - typo
- change "State element." to "State elements."
Line 387 - typo
- change "State element." to "State elements."
Line 394 - punctuation
- add missing period
Line 400 - punctuation
- delete extra period after "InputChannelInterface"
Line 401 - punctuation
- delete extra period after "Marker)"
Line 417 - typo
- change "the service's" to "for the service's"
Line 423 - clarify
- change "transition the" to "transition each"
Line 424 - clarify
- add "This operation does not affect the SystemControlService."
(appears in ResumeAllServices)
Line 430 - clarify
- change "transition the" to "transition each"
Line 467 - clarify
- change "transitions every job based Services"
to "transitions every job based Service"
Line 468 - clarify
- move "This operation does not affect the SystemControlService."
to end-of-paragraph (it's an odd infix at present)
Line 533 - clarify
- change "Client Conformance Requirements"
to "System Client Conformance Requirements"
Line 534-576 - clarify
- reorder lists - MUST, then SHOULD, then MAY requirements
Line 539 - clarify (w/ list reorder above)
- change "When sending a request, a conforming client NEED NOT supply"
to "A conforming client MAY supply"
Line 540 - bogus conformance (w/ list reorder above)
- change "OPTIONALLY supplied" to "OPTIONAL to supply"
Line 544 - clarify (w/ list reorder above)
- change "client implementation" to "conforming client implementation"
- change "inter-operate" to "interoperate" (one word)
Line 549, 552, 560, 569 - clarify
- change "conforming implementations" to
"conforming Imaging Device and SystemControlService implementations"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ira McDonald (Musician / Software Architect)
Chair - Linux Foundation Open Printing WG
Secretary - IEEE-ISTO Printer Working Group
Co-Chair - IEEE-ISTO PWG IPP WG
Co-Chair - TCG Trusted Mobility Solutions WG
Chair - TCG Embedded Systems Hardcopy SG
IETF Designated Expert - IPP & Printer MIB
Blue Roof Music/High North Inc
http://sites.google.com/site/blueroofmusichttp://sites.google.com/site/highnorthinc
mailto:blueroofmusic at gmail.com
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