attachment-0002
Hi, Tuesday (29 November 2011)<br><br>High North has reviewed the System Object and System Control Service and<br>has comments.<br><br>These comments augment the Apple comments and try to avoid overlap.<br>
<br>Cheers,<br>- Ira<br><br>------------------------------------------------------------------------<br><br> [Comments on "wd-mfdsystemcontrolservicemodel10-20111102.pdf"]<br><br>Global - fix title of MFD Model [PWG5108.1]<br>
- several different unrelated titles are used for [PWG5108.1],<br> for example on lines 260-261.<br><br>Global - case of "subunit" versus "Subunit"<br>- inconsistent capitalization of singular and plural "subunit"<br>
throughout this document<br>- my preference would be titlecase throughout (per MFD Model)<br><br>Global - terminology - clarity<br>- change "Client" to "System Client"<br> (too ambiguous otherwise, with respective to Job service clients)<br>
<br>Line 14 - typo<br>- change "[PWG51008.1]" to "[PWG5108.1]"<br><br>Line 16 - typo<br>- change "by n MFD." to "by an MFD."<br><br>Line 17 - clarify<br>- change "The model extension"<br>
to "The [PWG5108.1] model extension"<br><br>Line 22 - clarify<br>- change "Alert Table" to "prtAlertTable"<br><br>Line 22 - typo<br>- change "visible to any" to "visible via any"<br>
<br>Line 23 - clarify<br>- change "Imaging Device wide usage counters, all the conditions, and<br> every Subunits."<br> to "Imaging Device total usage counters, all conditions, and all<br> Subunits."<br>
<br>Line 25-26 - clarify<br>- change "to start services that have been shut down."<br> to "to start (create) services and to restart services that have been<br> previously shut down."<br><br>Line 181 - scope error<br>
- change "System Object's capabilities, configuration,"<br> to "System Object's configuration,"<br><br>Line 182 - missing word<br>- change "to modify System Object's data."<br> to "to modify the System Object's data."<br>
<br>Line 188 - case error<br>- change "Network Connected System Client"<br> to "network-connected System Client"<br><br>Line 189 - typo<br>- change "services that protects"<br> to "services that protect"<br>
<br>Line 190 - clarify<br>- change "access of" to "access to the"<br><br>Line 198 - missing term<br>- define "System Client" (used in section 2, 4.1, 8.1, etc.)<br> (simply using "Client" is far too ambiguous in this spec)<br>
<br>Line 200 - clarify<br>- change "this Specification"<br> to "System Object and System Control Service"<br><br>Line 203 - clarify<br>- change "for the Imaging Device System."<br> to "the SystemControlService of the Imaging Device."<br>
<br>Line 208 - clarify<br>- change "this Specification"<br> to "System Object and System Control Service"<br><br>Line 211 - broken reference<br>- change "The MFD Working Group charter [CHAR] defines the following as<br>
out-of-scope:"<br> to "The following are out-of-scope:"<br> (MFD charter is out-of-date and should NOT be referenced in a PWG CS)<br> (it's also missing in current Informative References section)<br>
<br>Line 217 - clarify<br>- change "top level objects"<br> to "top level elements"<br> (SystemStatus is NOT an object - it's an element group)<br><br>Line 217-220 - clarify<br>- rewrite these sentences to stop confusing object w/ element group<br>
<br>Line 236 - clarify<br>- change "System Model Overview"<br> to "Imaging Device Model"<br> (title disagrees with first sentence)<br><br>Line 240 - clarify<br>- change "SystemControlService Clients"<br>
to "System Clients"<br> (the formal term for conformance)<br><br>Line 244 - clarify<br>- change "there is only a single instance."<br> to "there can only be a single instance."<br><br>Line 245 - clarify<br>
- change "no jobs coming in or output produced and no subordinate"<br> to "no Jobs coming in or output produced and therefore no subordinate"<br><br>Line 246 - clarify<br>- change "entire system" to "entire Imaging Device"<br>
<br>Line 258 - clarify<br>- change "all the subunits that comprise"<br> to "all the subunits configured on"<br> (the subunits, by themselves, do NOT comprise the Imaging Device)<br><br>Line 267 - typo<br>
- change "provide descriptive" to "provides descriptive"<br><br>Line 270 - typo<br>- change "has extension" to "has an extension"<br><br>Line 281-283 - clarify<br>- add complete table of rules for "optimistic" Service state rollup<br>
(explain that non-Job services like Resource don't participate)<br> (overlaps w/ Apple comment - but this has to be interoperable)<br><br>Line 288 - typo<br>- change "2lists" to "2 lists"<br><br>
Line 293 - ambiguous element name<br>- change "ServiceInstance" to "ServiceSummary"<br> (consistent with "ResourceSummary")<br> (the actual service instances are in the Services container)<br>
(also line 416 now uses "ServiceSummary")<br><br>Line 296 - clarify<br>- change "SystemControlService Theory of Operation"<br> to "SystemControlService Model"<br><br>Line 297 - redundancy<br>
- change "Imaging Device System" to "Imaging Device"<br><br>Line 298 - typo<br>- change "SystemControlService model" to "SystemControlService models"<br><br>Line 301 - clarify<br>- change "comprise" to "are configured on"<br>
(the subunits, by themselves, do NOT comprise the Imaging Device)<br><br>Line 304 - typo<br>- change "has extension" to "has an extension"<br><br>Line 309 - model error in Figure 6<br>- change SystemControlServiceDescription to REQUIRED<br>
(otherwise there is no language or charset for Status values)<br><br>Line 312 - typo<br>- change "provide Descriptive" to "provides descriptive"<br><br>Line 315 - typo<br>- change "has extension" to "has an extension"<br>
<br>Line 327 - typo<br>- change "provide state" to "provides state"<br><br>Line 338 - clarify<br>- change "SystemControlService Interfaces"<br> to "SystemControlService Operations"<br>
<br>Line 339 - clarify<br>- change "provides a set of service interfaces"<br> to "provides a service interface"<br> (one interface - multiple operations - in formal model terminology)<br><br>Line 376 - clarify<br>
- change "can no longer be instantiated."<br> to "can no longer be restarted."<br> (delete removes the instance itself)<br><br>Line 382 - typo<br>- change "State element." to "State elements."<br>
<br>Line 387 - typo<br>- change "State element." to "State elements."<br><br>Line 394 - punctuation<br>- add missing period<br><br>Line 400 - punctuation<br>- delete extra period after "InputChannelInterface"<br>
<br>Line 401 - punctuation<br>- delete extra period after "Marker)"<br><br>Line 417 - typo<br>- change "the service's" to "for the service's"<br><br>Line 423 - clarify<br>- change "transition the" to "transition each"<br>
<br>Line 424 - clarify<br>- add "This operation does not affect the SystemControlService."<br> (appears in ResumeAllServices)<br><br>Line 430 - clarify<br>- change "transition the" to "transition each"<br>
<br>Line 467 - clarify<br>- change "transitions every job based Services"<br> to "transitions every job based Service"<br><br>Line 468 - clarify<br>- move "This operation does not affect the SystemControlService."<br>
to end-of-paragraph (it's an odd infix at present)<br><br>Line 533 - clarify<br>- change "Client Conformance Requirements"<br> to "System Client Conformance Requirements"<br><br>Line 534-576 - clarify<br>
- reorder lists - MUST, then SHOULD, then MAY requirements<br><br>Line 539 - clarify (w/ list reorder above)<br>- change "When sending a request, a conforming client NEED NOT supply"<br> to "A conforming client MAY supply"<br>
<br>Line 540 - bogus conformance (w/ list reorder above)<br>- change "OPTIONALLY supplied" to "OPTIONAL to supply"<br><br>Line 544 - clarify (w/ list reorder above)<br>- change "client implementation" to "conforming client implementation"<br>
- change "inter-operate" to "interoperate" (one word)<br><br>Line 549, 552, 560, 569 - clarify<br>- change "conforming implementations" to<br> "conforming Imaging Device and SystemControlService implementations"<br>
<br>------------------------------------------------------------------------<br><br clear="all">Ira McDonald (Musician / Software Architect)<br>Chair - Linux Foundation Open Printing WG<br>Secretary - IEEE-ISTO Printer Working Group<br>
Co-Chair - IEEE-ISTO PWG IPP WG<br>Co-Chair - TCG Trusted Mobility Solutions WG<br>Chair - TCG Embedded Systems Hardcopy SG<br>IETF Designated Expert - IPP & Printer MIB<br>Blue Roof Music/High North Inc<br><a style="color:rgb(51, 51, 255)" href="http://sites.google.com/site/blueroofmusic" target="_blank">http://sites.google.com/site/blueroofmusic</a><br>
<a style="color:rgb(102, 0, 204)" href="http://sites.google.com/site/highnorthinc" target="_blank">http://sites.google.com/site/highnorthinc</a><br>mailto:<a href="mailto:blueroofmusic@gmail.com" target="_blank">blueroofmusic@gmail.com</a><br>
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